I really wish I had the ability to just go for someone. I’d hardly consider myself a shy person until it goes past friendship. Yeah, then I shut down. That’s why I get nowhere in the realm of relationships. Either that or I just push people away.
It sucks.
![I don’t know how relevant this post is about to be to the photo that is going to be attached to it, but I’m going to go on a mini rant anyway.
So, I’m only in my first semester of college. I like my major, which is currently Tourism, Convention, and Event Management. However, I don’t feel like it really sets me up for the job I’m actually looking for, which is really in the music industry - whether that be [what I’ve always said I want to be] a tour manager, or working with a record label, or working at a concert venue. Whatever the job may be, I don’t think it fits the description of any job found within my current major - maybe just slightly. And it is really starting to get to me. I also enjoy the school I’m currently enrolled in. I love the idea of moving downtown next year and falling into city life, but… I found my dream major at a completely different school. Belmont University.
In Nashville, Tennessee.
Which is only four hours away, really. However, no one realizes the agony it causes me when I think of separating from my best friend as well as my dog. It really makes me sound like a pathetic person because… well, I kind of am. But the school offers a degree in music business, which covers all aspects of the music industry, such as artist management, music publishing, record company operations, etc. It’s like a dream. Had I truly looked into majors more during my junior and senior years of high school, this decision probably would have been made and I would have braced myself for separation.
Now I have a feeling that I’m just going to sit back and accept TCEM as my major, IUPUI as my school, Indianapolis, IN as my city, and my comfort zone as my permanent comfort zone. I don’t want that.
But I’m also a pathetic loser when it comes to stuff like that. But at the same time, with the career I want, I really need to break out now or I never will.
Another problem comes with money. It’s triple what my current tuition is. And I don’t see myself getting a shit-ton of scholarships. On top of that, I don’t know when I’d even be able to transfer… it’ll throw me off. I don’t have the time now to apply and get scholarships… Then I’d be going my junior year, which will just throw me in school for four more years.
I don’t know what to do because having found this has really kind of ruined my life. It’s so perfect, and I want to go so bad. It’s not even funny.
However, I found an online degree program which is almost identical to the degree program offered at Belmont. But all the same problems still stand, aside from going away.
I don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll have to have one of those awful college chats with my dad that make me want to jump off of a cliff. But when it comes to doing what I really want to do, I guess I just have to put myself first sometimes.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltll7xElFi1r4tx5do1_1280.jpg)
